You Know You Want More - But How To Start?

I always knew in my heart that my daughters were growing up and one day they would leave the house.  Even when my precious youngest daughter at 10 years old said "Mom, I don't want to go away to college.  Can't I just live here with you while I go to school?"... Even then I knew she was leaving.  Don't get me wrong, it felt great to hear and I love to remind her of it now, but I knew she was leaving.

It's what we want for our children, right?  To go out and make their way in the world.  So why do we feel so lost when they actually go out?  

I toured colleges with them.  I helped strategize what they would load in the car and take off to their dorm rooms.  I listened to course schedule decisions, plotted out pathways to various majors, filled out mountains of financial aid forms, and attended parent orientations.

I knew they were leaving the house.  I just didn't really know what that was going to mean.

I spent the last few years they were at home working to get myself in a good place.  Preparing for when I'd become an empty nester (sometimes with excitement and sometimes with tears).  I knew I'd always be Mom, but I had to start planning for whatever was coming next.  

It's been several years since that time.  My daughters have gone out and are doing big things.  I have work I love.  I live close to my family.  I have supportive friends.  And I don't take any of it for granted - because during those years of planning for what was next and actually getting to where I am now were challenging.

I did not love my job and literally spent a year driving to work in tears.  My husband was dying.  Money felt totally out of reach.  And I knew to the very core of myself that this was not the life I was meant to lead.

What I didn't know was how to change that.  And I was ready for a change!  But, it's difficult go after what you want when you're deep in survival mode.  When everything around you feels like an obstacle, it's hard to see where you want to go, much less how to get there.  And for me, it became very isolating.  My job was to stay strong for my girls.  To keep working to pay the bills.  To try and figure out things I never learned before - things like how to get a mortgage and how to start a lawn mower.

More importantly, I had to try and figure out what the next chapter of my life was going to look like.  AND how I was going to get from 'where I was' to 'where I wanted to be'.

For me, it started with a shift in how I was thinking.  It seems simple, but once I started to believe I could turn my 'little business' into a 6 figure 'there's no stopping me now' business, I started making progress.  Not all of us have the same stressors or need the same things in life to feel stable.  For me, I need to feel financially safe.  So increasing my income, getting out of debt and taking control of my money made a HUGE difference in my life.  And it didn't happen until after I turned 50!

I don't know what the turning point will be for you.  Heck, you might already be having the time of your life and don't need a life reset.  But if you know there's something more out there and you're ready to make the change, I want to encourage you to go for it.

Believe in yourself.  Find your confidence.  Read a lot.  Remember the things you love to do - and do more of those things.

If you can start to see the person you want to be and the life you want to live, you can start to be that person.

Below is one of my favorite quotes (thank you Maya Angelou).  It states so clearly what I want for myself. 

Find - or write - your own mission and then chase it!

xo
Mimi